First Kisses or The Search for Perfect Moments

Yesterday, one of my dearest clients excitedly told me about running into a friend she’s known for 50 years. The reason it was so exciting was the guy was her first kiss. As a total romantic at heart I live for these stories. Hers went like this: she was thirteen and playing spin the bottle. It landed on this man (well boy at the time), and they went into the closet and counted until 10 so it would seem they were in the closet longer. After counting, they kissed. So cute!

It’s not the most romantic story in the world—or at least it isn’t how Hollywood or fictional authors would paint it. Was it the boy she wanted the bottle to land on? Nope. But, is it ever?

Her story sent me on a trip down memory lane. My first kiss was unexpected and not at all whom I wanted it to be from. Laughing at the memory, I decided to share with you, as it is not only a testament to me, but also a story about striving for perfection. I was at a track tournament and was hanging out in the team tent after I had just finished my events. I am flirt by nature and was chatting up the guys. I was being myself—which by the way we believe is a LiveClareLesley trait you should always live by. I jokingly was reaching across this guy on my team to coyishly reach for something. Our faces so close, millimeters from each other. He, being a hormonal young man, jumped at the opportunity I didn’t realize I was offering him. He leaned forward to broach that nominal gap I had just created and kissed me. Smack on the lips. Of course, it lasted barely a second but it felt like time had stood still. My brain was working a mile a second. I pulled back, smiled, and ran out of the tent. Ironically, I realize now that at a track tournament, I ran away from my first kiss.
Later, on the bus my thoughts were going in so many different directions, my head was spinning. My 15-year-old brain was trying to take this all in. The scene I had been a part of was NOT how I envisioned my first kiss. It certainly wasn’t how Julia Roberts was kissed in Pretty Woman on the balcony. Wasn’t after a first date on my porch. It was in a tent with others around. From a boy I liked, but wasn’t completely attracted to him, and wasn’t desirous to date him.
When we arrived back at school, I got off the bus and saw the hottest most popular senior at school. He, true to stereotype, was just leaving detention. He saw me too and we struck up a conversation. My heart started to race a bit: a true hot bad boy and we were talking!! This was who I actually wanted to be my first kiss!
Determined to rewrite history (it was the same day, and Bad Boy and Track Runner have the same name) I grabbed his hand, took him behind the science building and I kissed him. Yes, it was great! Yes, it lasted longer than a second. Yes, as am adult I’m aware I kissed two boys in one day and that probably wasn’t a good road to begin my romantic/sexual behaviors. However, I wanted to take back what I thought was mine! My first kiss shouldn’t it be mine to decide to give out?
At the time, it was a big deal to me.   Now, literally double my years later I realize it was just a moment; an experience and not something to be so worked up about. One that I hadn’t really thought about until my client told me her story.

There are many times in life, and many goals we set out to accomplish, that I think we build up to be this amazing, PERFECT moment. One thing, or one moment, that will determine all others. However, you are only in charge of you. Or, at least you should be so, check on that today. Things, life, kisses… don’t always happen the way you dream or plan. In the moment, they are incredibly important. At the time I thought the most important thing was that kiss. I can’t even remember how I did at the track tournament—and I’m a personal trainer, I should care more about the fitness aspect of that day!! But, 16 years later, those kisses, those boys, that LACK OF A MOMENT OF PERFECTION didn’t determine the route I’m on today. I did! I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I love it and I’m going to live it.
So, when was a moment you wanted perfection but felt it didn’t go as you planned? Looking back, was it the big deal you thought?

–LL

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “First Kisses or The Search for Perfect Moments

  1. Pingback: Kissing IS Personal | Live ClareLesley

  2. Pingback: 101 pieces of advice | Live ClareLesley

Tell us what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s