I don’t know what I want. Well actually, I know what I want, I just don’t want it now. Yep! This week I realized after clearing out all the pots on the stove, any leftovers from the fridge that I’m done with duty dating. But, I’m so not into dating! Yes, I’m saying it out loud. Why? Because I don’t think we admit to ourselves that we know what we want we just don’t want it now. I’ve decided that it’s completely ok. A-Ok to know what you want but not want it now. This doesn’t make myself or you wishy-washy. In fact, I think it puts us back in control. And right now, I don’t want to be in a relationship, I just want to be single.
There are so many pressures when you are single to be in a relationship. Who are you dating? Do you think they’re the one? Are you ready for that? What are you looking for? If you want a family you should start getting serious! Well, guess what?! Today I’m dating no one, tomorrow is a new day and the day after who knows if they’re THE ONE! They’re the one for right NOW. That’s perfect enough for today.
But, back to my point. I have dated my archetypes—all those men that I think I wanted to be in a relationship, or at least try out (check back for a different blog post on archetypes!). I have enjoyed myself entirely. I know my dealmakers, breakers, and am comfortable re-working them. I know what makes me swoon, laugh, get annoyed, feel supported, free, and get rocked. I just don’t want any of it right now. I want to do my thing. Enjoy myself. Live my life my way, by my rules. Not have to check in, share my time, or worry about another person’s feelings. I love having all the “me” time I want!
I discovered this when I had a suitor turned friend over for a great make out sesh. We have both been through the long, deep relationships. We are both barely a year out of our own past relationships. He said he just doesn’t know what he wants. With this conversation, I realized, I do. I know EXACTLY what I want. Lucky me! Even luckier I’m so comfortable not wanting it right now.
If you’re wondering if something is up with you, perhaps you’re in the same boat. Perhaps you too know what you want but just don’t want it now. There is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is if you let yourself think there is something wrong with you. Asking yourself questions: am I depressed? Did I make the wrong decision? Should I go on another date? Nope! If you’re not into it, you’re just not into it. Enjoy that! Rock that! When your friend asks about your dating life, you should proudly say “not anyone for now and it’s perfect enough for today.”
If more of us start announcing with pride our Single Status then think of how much better the our conversations will be. We can actually talk about other things going on in our lives with our friends instead of whom we are not doing.