Because He ASKED!

Ever wonder how “that guy” got “that girl”? Come on, you know what I’m talking about here. Those stunning girls and those “average” looking guys. My opinion…my hunch…my gut tells me “those” guys manned up and asked her out!

A guy and I were chatting about how so many couples in LA don’t “match” up. Rarely do you see two good-looking people together. He had opinions about money, fame and sex. I’m sure there is some “right-ness” to his theory. But, as someone who is strong, successful, independent and good-looking (if I do say so myself), I can tell you how many times I’ve been asked out in the last 6 months: Once! Only once…

No, it’s not like I don’t put myself out there. By now you’ve ready plenty about me. I am out there. I put myself out there. I flirt with many a man, I make eye contact. Yet, no actual dates in my schedule. Just because I’ve only had one request for a date doesn’t mean I haven’t enjoyed a regular male companion from time to time. In time, I’ll explain how to set one of those up for success. I refuse to believe chivalry is dead. I have a slew of texts, Facebook messages, tweets and even Instagram photos of men sent to me, good looking successful and HOT professing their attraction towards me yet no date. They’ve told me they want to hang out. I ask: when? Crickets… Well guess what “good looking” boys? (Yes, boys. Men ask women out; boys cannot.) I refuse to pine for you, emasculate you, or need for you. I make my own happiness so you not asking doesn’t affect me. In fact, you’re not asking is more of a bullet dodged.

Why? Because while you’re attractive to first glance you would be a boy who would eventually annoy me thanks to my time Duty Dating. You might be great to have as a memory, a notch in my “hottie” belt. But, in the end a waste of time and disappointment. So, thank you for doing us both a favor. We didn’t waste a precious Friday night, a good table reservation, or even a condom.

Men: you want a woman? You have feelings for a woman? Ask her out! Seriously, pick up the phone (yes, I said pick up the phone), dial her number, and ask. What’s the worst case scenario? She says no? Ha! Unless she’s tied to someone else, that’s doubtful. Besides, no one died of rejection. Manliness, confidence, and ambition make every man sexier.

Ladies: stop wallowing when “the guy” doesn’t ask you out and take notice of all the options. Make the eye contact and see what happens. If the young version of Steven Spielberg asks you out, say yes! What if we banded together and stopped throwing ourselves at boys, and waited for men?

Guys, what if you stopped playing cool, got a little vulnerable, and asked the girl out?

What would happen? How would that look?

At Live ClareLesley we are all about growth. Here are some ways to change the way dating works in this world:

For my males: I know you seem cool on the outside and are sweet in the center it’s time to express yourself. You say you’re not mind readers. Well, news flash, ladies do not have superhero abilities either. We want to read and analyze everything, but the truth is we are usually way off on what we think you meant when you said “Hi, how are you?”  In fact, without your obvious intentions we just don’t know if you’re “into us” (and sometimes even with…ladies we do need to work on this). So, while you might be afraid to ruin a friendship, walk up to a stranger or send that text. YOLO just go for it. What if she actually says YES?  Stick Your Neck Out and see what happens.

Ladies, want to catch that guy’s eye? You have to look at them. Yep, eye contact and smile. Online, pics cannot have sunglasses. And your friends rock, but they take away from the beauty of the rock star that you are. Also, it’s time to stop pining for the boy whose not asking you out. He’s not asking for a reason. Who really cares what it is?  The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. I know. Had I pushed a year ago to be with the man I am with today, it would have gone all wrong, quickly. So, as we have said before, work on your self love, your self growth. Work on Living ClareLesley and becoming a WHOLE person. Then you will attract another WHOLE person. Can you picture how amazing that will be? I can. It will be worth the wait.

Everyone, the excuse “he/she is not my type” is out the window. If you’re single and alone, its obvious your type hasn’t exactly gotten you a home run. So, try on a different pair of jeans. See what happens. You like someone? Ask them out! What if they say no? Ask anyway…who cares! At least you know and can go about your day. What if they say YES? Isn’t it worth the risk?

My challenge to you is to love yourself, smile at strangers and have fun everyday. Flirt. The dates will come when it’s time. I promise. It has worked out for me, it’ll work for you!

LL

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4 thoughts on “Because He ASKED!

  1. This is great. As a man, I can honestly say I’ve passed up a lot of perfectly fine opportunities to ask women out just over the past year. This doesn’t mean I haven’t had dates. But I could have had a lot more if I would have asked out more of the women I’ve been attracted to. I can think of a time while out at the laundromat a few months ago, I was chatting with a woman, and she really seemed to like me. However, she had on what I thought was an engagement ring. Instead just asking, anyway, I did nothing. I don’t know why people are like this, but it’s time we stop doing that. I’m good looking, funny, smart, and I’ve been told I’m no slouch in the bedroom. So why don’t I have better success? It’s simple: I don’t ask enough women out. That’s the deal. There is nothing bad that can come from asking women out, other than they say no. Last fall, I was attracted to this woman at my bowling league. And we talked and talked and talked, and I honestly choked when it came to asking her out. However, I took the advice of a friend and tried to connect with her via facebook, and it actually worked. Other than chickening out when it came to asking her out in person, I did everything else like a MAN. I set up a time, set up a place. And since the date went very well, get this, I actually kissed her goodnight. By our third date, which was just over a week later, I spent the night at her apartment. And women do respond when you behave the right way on date, and act like you know what you’re doing. As I was spending this quality time at this woman’s apartment, she told me one of the reasons I was able to do so was because I did everything “right” up to that point on our first couple of dates. Obviously, I’m quite good at dating, but like a lot of guys, I wuss out when it comes to asking women out. In other words, the only thing preventing me from having a more successful dating life is me. I promise, the very next time I meet someone I like, I will think of this article, and I will ask her out. You have my word.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Just ask already | Live ClareLesley

  3. Pingback: 101 pieces of advice | Live ClareLesley

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