Last year’s “Because He Asked” blog was inspired by a conversation I had with a guy. This follow up is no different. Actually, it’s inspired because I spoke with 2 guys. At the beginning of my latest trip to Boulder, Colorado, my fiancée and I met up with a friend of his for coffee. Although we had not met before, within 15 minutes of meeting he tells a story about his 30 year high school reunion. Apparently, when he was in high school he had the biggest crush on a girl. She was a good friend of his all through school. But, he never asked her out. She ended up dating and marrying another school friend of theirs who Did ask her out. Fast forward to their reunion and she sees him. First thing she says is “why didn’t you ever ask me out back in high school?”
Enter the second man in this story. At the end of the Boulder trip, my fiancée, Brad, and I had lunch with another friend of his. Relationships being in the air, this friend told us the story of how he and his new relationship began. They met at a show. Exchanged numbers and then nothing happened. Two months later he was still thinking of her. He reached out and asked her to grab a drink. Her response “I thought you’d never ask.”
They’re about to go on an amazing trip together next month.
My dears, we have to stop waiting for life to happen. Stop worrying what someone will say. Start being honest with ourselves and what we want. If you like someone and you’re both single: ask them out! The worst thing that could happen is they say “No.”
So, how can you ask someone out:
Start by being direct: Hey, want to go grab a coffee/juice/tea this weekend?
Be specific. Say when you want the potential date to be. This allows this askee to say yes, no or suggest an alternative. It also shows them you’re seriously interested in the date. Their response will show you how serious they are.
Where did you meet this person? Karaoke? The gym? On you way to work? Suggest meeting at that same place on a specific date and hanging out before or after. It’s a common safe and easy ground. Both of you will feel comfortable there.
Another idea is to buy two tickets to something. Something ideally you enjoy. Invite them to come. I used to make coffee for 2 every morning. I wanted to hold a space for the man I would eventually meet and marry. Today, I make coffee for two and none goes to waste. Like I said in the first blog about this. You will not die from rejection. The odds are better than any other form of gambling. You ask them out you have a 50% chance they’ll say yes. You don’t you have a 100% chance they won’t.
The business man at the beginning of the blog was given a second chance at dating the high school friend. They’re having lunch this week. He wasn’t going to let the opportunity to ask her out pass by this time!
Share your risk-taking-date-asking stories with us. We’d love to hear them!
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