Last Tuesday while my father was working, he fell. A simple bump into a coworker has landed him sitting at home for at least 3 months. Ruptured a tendon that connects his quadriceps to the bone. Six weeks before walking me down the aisle.
About two weeks ago one of my clients started trying for another baby. She’s in the last year of really being able to carry another. She said her nanny is so amazing. She’s so good with her other kids it’s truly why this next one is even an option. Last week that nanny had to quit due to her own family struggles.
Last night 5 1/2 weeks until the Wedding my venue cancelled. Just like that. We have everything completed for the wedding. Every attendee has rsvp’d. Plane tickets purchased and hotels reserved. There will be 80 people, a bride and a groom, DJ, band, photographer, chef and all the trimmings ready to state vows, say “I Do” and dance the night away. Where will it be? Well, currently your guess is mine!
These stories are not meant to stress you out. I could list a dozen more but I think you’re getting the point. Sh*t just happens. There will be days, weeks even months where it feels like it is just coming in piles. Where it feels like you’re the only one. But the truth is you’re not the only one. Not a single one of us is free of bad Sh*t. If you currently are tackle that to do list, soak up the Rays and breathe in the fresh air. So, that when the next storm comes through you can handle it with grace, a smile and a f’ing good shovel.
When I heard about my latest wrench I went through a slew of emotions. Of course I wanted to get angry. But then what? The anger would waste the energy I needed to to take action. I wanted to cry. But then what? The tears would drop into my computer keyboard and I’d be in a worse state.
All I could do was take deep breaths and reach out to a few friends. Everything except death is pretty fixable. It also usually works out better in the end.
Everything except death is pretty fixable.
Before I tell you what happened here are the tips I used to get through:
- Breathe, as best you can focus on the inhales and exhales. How long or short are they? Are the in through your nose? Out through your mouth? Just breathe. It’s not easy when it feels like your being knocked on your feet every time you stand up.
- Lay on the ground. Get grounded. Honestly it really helps take the anxiety away. It’s calming. I’m not saying you won’t cry but by being open and connected (not curled up) to the earth really helps you gain clarity.
- Cry if you have to. Do it. I was in shock when my pile appeared. It felt like the earth was ripped from under my feet. But after a good, hard cry I realized that once I got a new venue all would be well. The more you hold it in, the bigger you make the need to let it all go.
- Take action. After you’ve realized that the issues at hand are fixable take action. Or if you have to just wait it out then go do something that makes you busy. Takes your mind off it.
- Do not let this pile bring back otherwise dealt with piles. Don’t let this pile become the avalanche of all things going wrong. Focus on why you’re feeling the way you feel. Why does it feel like it all connected? Then again, take action. Action to either break up with that problem, bury it or fix it.
- Ask for help! We did and were given an idea that literally was key in solving our issue.
In the end we have a new venue. It’s going to be cooler than our original plan. We are back on wedding planning and loving it. Also, my friends car is fixed and the woman has 3 second interviews on nannies. My father is improving ahead of doctors expectations!
The thing is, you’re never alone in your crap. Your good friends will go through your crap with you. If they don’t…well check out Clare’s post on “breaking up with friends.”
Tell me when you felt the piles were all directed at you and what you did to dig out and up!
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