Haters gonna Hate

Recently I was listening to a Being Boss podcast and the founder of A Practical Wedding was talking about a group that has formed on the web just to “hate” on her. That’s literally all their purpose for existence. Now, I have been the victim of haters. We all have. But, I don’t think many of us have been in a place where a whole group of people took out a site just for the purpose of hating on us.

The girls interviewing her on the podcast asked how it felt to be talked about regularly on the web by a group of strangers. She was so positive. So up beat and “bright side up.” I had to share this with you. She doesn’t actually read any of their comments. Her team does. They do it for one reason: These “haters” help her and her team out. Yep, they actually are using these haters to help make her and her business APW better. They find any editing errors, inconsistencies, and even stats! Yes, stats that she was trying to figure out, and the hater group had them posted for all to see.

We all make mistakes. There is usually someone out there ready to point them out.  The haters are at the ready to find all the failures of her and APW. We know from How to Fail that failure is feedback. Instead of bumming out that they made an error they simply thank these “copy editors” fix the error and move on. Ok, so maybe they do not actually go into their hate forums and say “thank you” but in their awesome APW offices they say it and most importantly they move on. They don’t stress about it.

They are winning at the hating game. We all can win the hating game without having to engage one teeny weeny bit.

  1. What is the trash talk actually saying: I used to work retail and people would often want to call my boss to complain about me.  I could worry; no one wants their boss called. Except, wait! Why were they complaining? Because I wouldn’t let them return someone after the cut off. They wore, used and abused a purse and a year later would want their money back and I said no. I just let them complain. They were basically telling my boss I was great at my job.
  2. Is the trash talk in line with your goal? If they are trash talking how your clothes look, or who are are dating, and you love your clothes and enjoy your mate then remember: you are rubber, they are glue. Your journey is about reaching your dreams.  Let them trash. It’s all just projections about how they are feeling about themselves. You just happen to be the target. Let it all go in one ear, out the other. You can read more about projections here.
  3. Are they they opposite of “yes men”: we have all seen celebrities rise and fall and we think if only they had someone who told them “no.” Well, just like celebrities we all need someone in our life to be the opposite side. Sure, we are freaking amazing, but sometimes an idea isn’t as good as it could be. Haters can be that needed devil’s advocate. Listen to their trash and use it to make your diamond idea sparkle even more. If they see a hole in your plan that you didn’t all the better. You can patch it even before it leaks.

Haters are always gonna hate. You’ll probably never be able to win them over. So don’t even worry about it. Just ask yourself what they are so fussy about. Can you use it to help you soar? No? Then toss it back like a bad fish and throw your line out a little further. APW uses it to fix or create content. Their haters give them a good idea if they are hitting their target audience. If the hate doesn’t help the cause then they ignore it all together. Let them eat their hate. You’ve got too much to good stuff coming your way!


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