Perfect for someone

This morning while running around UCLA I was listening to this weeks episode of the “Being Boss” podcast.  They were interviewing artist Brenda Mangalore about her transition from working in the corporate world as a web designer to living as an artist. An artist who gets paid to do what she loves. She would pray that she wouldn’t have to go into work each day. One day this made her wonder. Why do I not want to go to work? It’s a perfectly good job. Great job really. That’s when she realized that this perfectly good job was perfectly good for someone else but not her.

Perfection is very attractive. We tend to all be striving to do something or multiple things perfectly. It’s easy to want to be the best. Perfection is a bright shiny object. It’s like a moth to a flame. But we usually fall for perfection on paper. Because as we know “Perfect” just doesn’t exist.

This all got me thinking. I remember setting my goals about 5ish years ago. I had some great goals about work that I wanted and can now look back and see I have achieved. But some of my personal and health goals. Well they were perfectly good goals. Goals many people would have understood and even supported me on or joined in with me. But, they didn’t really light my fire. I actually kept postponing them, making excuses of why I shouldn’t do them. Which got me wondering…why someone who loves achieving goals is literally shoving goals in a corner. Oh, because these goals were perfectly good for someone but not for me.

Here are a couple of other “perfect” journeys:

Perfect Job: As you know if you have been reading our blog for awhile I have twice left salaried jobs for something else. Something my heart was yearning for. Something bigger than what I was doing. Both times I was expecting people to be as excited as I was for this next adventure. What I found when I told people I was quitting my job was shock, concern and worry. Most people said “Are you sure?” There were only a couple people who were supportive in a way that didn’t feel like they were waiting for the bottom to drop. I even felt like some people thought I would change my mind. Both jobs on paper were pretty awesome. Decent work schedules, good pay, room for growth and the ability to lead others. But both had run their course. Both jobs were perfect for someone else but not for me.

Perfect Mate: Just like in my jobs situation when I left my ex I had more people as me “if I was sure?” Plenty of people reminding me I could always go back. Most people just didn’t understand how I could leave a relationship that was “working.” My ex was a lot of things that many people would want. He has even recently married. He was perfect on paper, a great person but just not the right mate for me.

I think it’s important for us all to take time to do inventory in our lives and see where we are keeping things because they are perfect on paper or because they are “perfect” for you.

Do you wake up and dreading doing something you used to love?

Do you find yourself wishing you would wake up sick so you don’t have to work?

Do you sometimes wish your significant other would break up with you?

Are you making excuses for not doing something you say you want?

It’s not easy to give up with “perfect on paper” situation. But, what if you could? What would it take to give it up? Do you have to save up money, take a class or classes, move somewhere? Vision your life doing what’s right for you instead of doing what’s right for someone else. Then take that leap of faith! I promise from our end you’ll get lots of high-fives.

I left that perfect job and perfect mate and am thousands times happier. Life would have been fine if I stayed. Life is so much fuller because I did me. I through out that perfect paper and just trusted my vision. It’s so worth it.

I highly recommend listening to the full podcast episode. It’s always incredible to hear how someone went from the 9-5 job to rocking their bliss. We all have our own journey. I’ll repeat that, we all have our own journey. Enjoy yours!

xx~LL

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Haters gonna Hate

Recently I was listening to a Being Boss podcast and the founder of A Practical Wedding was talking about a group that has formed on the web just to “hate” on her. That’s literally all their purpose for existence. Now, I have been the victim of haters. We all have. But, I don’t think many of us have been in a place where a whole group of people took out a site just for the purpose of hating on us.

The girls interviewing her on the podcast asked how it felt to be talked about regularly on the web by a group of strangers. She was so positive. So up beat and “bright side up.” I had to share this with you. She doesn’t actually read any of their comments. Her team does. They do it for one reason: These “haters” help her and her team out. Yep, they actually are using these haters to help make her and her business APW better. They find any editing errors, inconsistencies, and even stats! Yes, stats that she was trying to figure out, and the hater group had them posted for all to see.

We all make mistakes. There is usually someone out there ready to point them out.  The haters are at the ready to find all the failures of her and APW. We know from How to Fail that failure is feedback. Instead of bumming out that they made an error they simply thank these “copy editors” fix the error and move on. Ok, so maybe they do not actually go into their hate forums and say “thank you” but in their awesome APW offices they say it and most importantly they move on. They don’t stress about it.


They are winning at the hating game. We all can win the hating game without having to engage one teeny weeny bit.

  1. What is the trash talk actually saying: I used to work retail and people would often want to call my boss to complain about me.  I could worry; no one wants their boss called. Except, wait! Why were they complaining? Because I wouldn’t let them return someone after the cut off. They wore, used and abused a purse and a year later would want their money back and I said no. I just let them complain. They were basically telling my boss I was great at my job.
  2. Is the trash talk in line with your goal? If they are trash talking how your clothes look, or who are are dating, and you love your clothes and enjoy your mate then remember: you are rubber, they are glue. Your journey is about reaching your dreams.  Let them trash. It’s all just projections about how they are feeling about themselves. You just happen to be the target. Let it all go in one ear, out the other. You can read more about projections here.
  3. Are they they opposite of “yes men”: we have all seen celebrities rise and fall and we think if only they had someone who told them “no.” Well, just like celebrities we all need someone in our life to be the opposite side. Sure, we are freaking amazing, but sometimes an idea isn’t as good as it could be. Haters can be that needed devil’s advocate. Listen to their trash and use it to make your diamond idea sparkle even more. If they see a hole in your plan that you didn’t all the better. You can patch it even before it leaks.

Haters are always gonna hate. You’ll probably never be able to win them over. So don’t even worry about it. Just ask yourself what they are so fussy about. Can you use it to help you soar? No? Then toss it back like a bad fish and throw your line out a little further. APW uses it to fix or create content. Their haters give them a good idea if they are hitting their target audience. If the hate doesn’t help the cause then they ignore it all together. Let them eat their hate. You’ve got too much to good stuff coming your way!


xx~LL

Time and other Entrepreneurial words

As Clare and I have said many times before “everything happens for a reason,” and “everything happens when it’s supposed to.” This week’s blog is evidence of this.  My dearest friend Eric and also now one of my best friends is a killer Jewelry designer. His line is Hespera. A stunning jewelry line that he created himself. He started it out of his condo and now it’s in stores across the country.

If you are sitting at home working on your own thing: this is a must read. If you are sitting their thinking about what you wish you were doing instead of what you are: this is a must read. Here’s a little background.

Eric and I met through Raine my running buddy who was moving to Germany. She met an incredible man (now her husband) at the starting line of the LA marathon (proof you can meet anyone, anywhere, marathon or Grocery Store if you start talking). I was just called by Los Angeles magazine. I was awarded “Best Pilates” in Los Angeles for their “Best of the Best” issue. Eric’s Jewelry would be the perfect statement piece.

Upon meeting we of course hit it off right away, but we also found out I signed a lease just a few buildings from his place. In LA this is huge! As it is hard to stay friends let along grow a friendship and live even a mile away.

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After the fantastic party with LA magazine wearing the incredible Anacapri Eric and I started spending more time together. I had many years experience in sales, retail and specifically jewelry. He had a phenomenal line and I knew it was going to be something huge one day.

That’s why we are here. It is hard to know when that “one day” finally arrives. It is hard to know when you are the one in the thick of it, how far you have come.

The other day I was reminded by Facebook about a picture I posted two years ago. Hespera was at an art walk (his jewelry really is wearable art). It was the one bad weather day LA had that year. Wet and cold. It was outdoors so you can imagine. It would have been easy to get bummed out about the day. The lack of success. Instead, he took advantage of the beautiful display. Lots of pics posted. I posted mine. What do you know! Phone sales!

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After that show there were others. Success can have several different meanings. If you are focused on making money you are in the wrong business. Or at least in the business for the wrong reasons.

Eric understood that everything is a learning experience. He could see the benefit to all the decisions he was making. Remember when you are new you just need to get out there. Eric never stopped thinking of new ways to promote his wearable art.


 

Its hard to know when you’re in the thick of it, how far you have come. 


When you are doing your own thing you have to think out of the box and you have to be a little bit ballsy. He knew if people saw his work they would buy it, wear it and share it. He was able to get his pieces to people hoping they could get it to people. Trusting that his work would speak for itself once it was in the right hands. Trusting others hands to get it to the right hands.

Less than a year after the cold, wet show in LA Hespera made it to People Magazine cover with Elin Nordgren. YEP! Her first interview and right there, smack in the middle of Elin was the incredible work of Eric and Hespera.

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About a year after that Hespera has been growing. Steadily. The line has evolved because thats what you have to do. There is no growth with out change. Today Hespera’s shows go across the country. In two years Hespera is rocking. Does Eric have bigger goals for it? Of course! But, you have to remember my doers of dreams. Rome was not built in a day.

Each day, week and month you have to work on your thing. Talk about it! Shout it from the roof tops. Do not keep it a secret. You may be in need of a social media expert. Tell a friend or stranger. They may know someone who knows someone. You do not have to do it all by yourself. You just have to do it!

Dream big! Then break your dream into sizable chunks. Then create a to do list. Do it now, do it now, do it now! Trust me, it won’t stop calling at you. Once you finally do it you’ll be wondering why you waited so long.

Feel free to visit Eric or Hespera (and tell him that Live ClareLesley sent you) via the Hespera website or become friends on Facebook!

Lastly, some words of wisdom from the creator himself “style is all about wearing what you love and being confident.” I believe this is true for all entrepreneurs. Do what you love and be confident in what you are doing.

Xx~LL

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