Why not Fail?

I put out a lot of myself “out there.” I have blogposts for Live ClareLesley and As The Crows Fly (my hubby and I blog, too) For Profitable Pilates, my business I have “notes to inspire” that I send out each week to those who sign up. I rarely hear back from any of the subscribers. I wonder: Did they read them? Did they like it? Hello…is anyone out there?!

Sometimes doubt, or that little negative voice, will get in my head. “What’s the point? Why am I doing this?”  But then I remember a couple things.  One, Clare and I have always tried to remind ourselves that we write our blogs for the joy of doing it.  Two, as Brene Brown likes to say “what would you do whether you failed or not?”

Whether I fail or not? What does that mean?

You’ve probably seen a bumper sticker or heard “what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” It’s something people use to help people set goals, find a new journey and get going on their life. But, the truth is even if you thought up what you could do without failing doesn’t mean you won’t.

Does that mean you won’t do that “it” if you could fail? Which makes me wonder why failing is getting such a bad rap?

Failure gives us one very important thing: FEEDBACK.  It tells you what’s working, what’s not working and maybe whether or not you keep going. Failure isn’t a period. It’s not “The End.” It’s simply an outcome. Truth is, failure might not even be a bad thing. Plenty of amazing inventions have come out of failure–Latisse came out of experiments to help baldness. Instead of helping hair grow it made eyelashes and eyebrows grow! So, was that a failure?

I was listening to Happier  a podcast with Gretchen Rubin and her sister. They were talking about wether something was bad or not. How do you know that “bad” thing was a bad thing? Maybe, in 5 years you’ll look back and be glad that “bad” thing happened. What we feel is failing might be the exact thing we need to get to where we are supposed to go!

Doing something because you have to is amazing. Writing a blog, going for a job interview, trying something new because it is inside you and you just have to get it out is worth it. I will continue to write wether anyone reads it or not. I will continue to create and put out what is begging to be created even if I am the only one who enjoys it. I will continue to continue!

  1. Do “it” because you want to: not because you think it will look good or maybe someone will like it. The “likes” are fleeting. Also, just because someone didn’t like, comment or applaud doesn’t mean they didn’t see it or care about it.
  2. Be authentic: if you are doing what makes you the best you, if you are staying on your true north, being your whole awesome self you literally cannot fail.
  3. Keep on Keeping on: once you go for “it” pat yourself on the back and continue your journey. Once you have done something there is another something in you waiting to be created.
  4. Put your blinders on: Often we feel pretty freaking great about ourselves and what we do until we do the comparison thing…remember that everything is not as it seems. Like a horse staying on it’s course, racing towards the finish line puts on his blinders so should we.
  5. Freedom: when it doesn’t matter what the outcome is you can really go for it! You can really leap. You may fall, miss the net but the more you leap the stronger you get at landing.

After writing this blog I received my latest analytics for Profitable Pilates. Just because I felt like I was hearing crickets doesn’t mean there weren’t crowds! My open rates and click rates are incredible as far as what is considered average. So, the reality is success comes in all forms. What feels like failure is simply feedback. What will I do next? Whatever is in me and it won’t matter if it’s a success or not because I simply must do it!


Fall in LOVE with the Messy Middle

I’m in the freaking MIDDLE! Ok, maybe I need to explain. There is an artist Dallas Clayton that has a painting and it says “The Beginning” then it says over and over again “The middle, the middle, the middle, the middle….”

The middle is can be the worst. In a movie we love the middle. It’s the part where the story is. Take the movie Serendipity. The beginning these two strangers meet. They have this wonderful moment. Then they leave their relationship future up to chance, serendipity. The middle of the movie, is approximately an hour is spent with them almost crossing paths over many years. The audience, during the middle is falling in love with the idea of John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale being a couple and we just can’t wait to see how on earth will these two find each other. Then the end comes. Spoiler alert: they find each other. That’s it! That’s all you get. Why?

Because the middle is where the story IS. The middle is messy and we just want someone to show us the way out. This messy middle rears it’s ugly head not only in love but in life, and business, too.

In a relationship, the messy middle is after the first date (or dates). It’s when you know you’ve got feeling but you don’t know what they other person is thinking. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. You want this crystal ball to just appear and tell you “Yes, you will” or “No, you won’t end up together.” I mean, that would be great. But then what? What experiences would you have that you could later in life work from?

In life, it can be after you make the decision to start on new health regime. You bought all the good foods. You put your workouts in your schedule. You’re doing it. But, when will you see changes? When will it be: 6 months from now?

I have been struggling with stomach issues for 7 years. Not everyday. There were times when doctors made adjustments and things got better. But the last 2 years have been worse than the first two of those 7. I have eliminated so much and tried this cleanse, that diet, no protein at night, no protein, only protein. I mean I have tried it all. I have several doctor appointments on the horizon and on am on a stomach reset now. The stomach reset I am on now has helped immensely. The first 3 days I wanted to quit every meal. It was so so SOOO hard. I mean I had to give up sugar AND coffee. My two favorite things in life.  But, this middle when would it end? Where am I headed?

In business, the middle can really take you down. It can cause you to question where you are going.  Why are you even doing this?  Can’t you just fast forward to when you are at your dream job?  Nope, you can’t. Because if you could, you wouldn’t like it. “Easy” sounds good, but it tastes bland. Not even Vanilla. Just, flavorless.

So, what do you do with all of this? What’s up with this messy middle? Well you can avoid it all together and do the same things you have always done. knowing  you’ll get what you have always got. Or, you can stick with it. You can just fall in love with the mess of the middle. Why? because when you are in the middle it means you are headed towards something great!

Remember that meme that was going around “This is amazing. I am amazing. This is sh*t. I am sh*t. This is amazing!” It’s the true process. The beginning gets you excited. Pulls you in. The middle can challenge your strength, drive and will. But, that minute at the “end” will be worth all of it because it’ll be YOU!

What “middle” are you in right now? I want to hear it!


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