Goals updates 2016 #37 Clare

I don’t know how to follow last week! 

Debt management is underway! 

I have an exciting project in the works! 

Fall is in full swing! 

I’ve hurt my shoulders so I’m taking it easy on the sun salutations. 

My show opens a week from yesterday!  Check it out: Waste, Fraud and Abuse The Musical

Goals Update 2016 #21 LL

Does anyone feel like Holiday weeks are a marathon? I came back from an incredibly inspiring camping trip and then it was 5 days of work shoved into 4 and a huge launch.

Financial goals I’m good. Pretty on track with where I want to be income wise just not where I want to be debt wise. Like I said I’m working on it. In the meantime I’ve gone over the budget and pretty sure I’m just on a mini detour.

Business goals: This week my friend and I launched our Pilates Day Retreats! It was almost a sell out and we announced our next one and have filled it almost halfway in a day. This week I am also announcing my Maui retreat AND I have a secret event I am starting that I will share with you soon. I’m feeling fired up about my business. Lots of plates spinning but none wobbling.

Health: I’m still on the journey to finding a happy place with my digestive system. All tests have either been tested or scheduled. I’ve got a biggie this week. Fingers crossed something helpful comes out of it.

Personal: The puppy keeps us very present. We’ve got a bundle of energy and he’s going to puppy training! Not sure he realizes that yet…

Have an amazing week loves and be sure to continue celebrating our Clare’s bday. All you have to do is open a door for a stranger!



Set, Goal, MATCH!

As the media starts getting you excited about setting resolutions, and even we here at Live ClareLesley give you tips and info, the idea of setting goals can get daunting. You may even become jaded. Ugh, another post on goals.  Before you run away and continue doing the same thing you did yesterday, hear me out…

Knowing where you want to go in your life will help you find long term relationship happiness.  Yep, it’s true. In fact Steve Harvey and other dating experts even state it.  If you don’t know where you want to be in 5, 10 and 15 years how will you know the potential partner or even the partner you are with today and you will be on the same page in 5, 10 and 15 years?  Here’s how this works in an ideal situation. Before shacking up, before intertwining calendars, bills and keys. Ask the person you are seeing where they see themselves in 5 and 10 years. If they don’t have goals that far ahead…RUN. If they have them but no road map to get there RUN. If they don’t line up with yours RUN.
Yes, you have to RUN. Why? Because you deserve to be with someone who sees a future and you in it. If they don’t have goals to share with you they are either going no where fast or they DO NOT see YOU  in THEIR future. Tough to digest but its the truth. Sorry not Sorry for being so honest but it’s time we all accept this.
Now for Your Goals. Do you have them? Do you know where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years? Are they solidly your goals? Meaning if you start to fall for someone and you hear their goals and they don’t match yours are you ready to change them just to be with someone? If your answer to this last one is yes…DO NOT DATE! You’re not ready.
Part of being ready to be in a relationship is knowing who you are and what you want for your life and your future. If you dream is to have kids, a home and work from home near your family and you meet someone who you’re attracted to and likes you but they want to travel for a living. They do not want kids. Do not lie to yourself. You cannot change someone’s goals later in life. Only they can. Instead..enjoy their company maybe even a friendship but keep yourself free for someone whose future plans run more parallel to yours.
Because this is such a huge topic I want to give you some simple ways to set goals for yourself. Trust me, Clare and I will write more descriptive blogs on goal setting. For now here’s a way to start dating with your future in mind.
Easy Tips to Set your goals:
1) Picture who you want to be in 10 years: Where do you want to live? Work? Do you have kids? Pets etc?
2) Set goals working backwards. What do you have to do in 10 years to achieve this picture? What about in 8, 5, 3 and 1 year?  Think of the picture like a cake covered in icing and ready to be served at a party. Then your 10 year goals would be the icing and decorations. 8 year goals would be removing from the oven. 5 year goals would be mixing all the ingredients, prepping the oven. 3 year goals would be all the ingredients laid out. 1 year would be you researching the best recipe… following me yet?
3) Write them down and share them with your close friends to hold you accountable when you start to make up reasons why someone could still fit with that picture.
Dating Tips:
1) Ask your date what their goals are! No, its not weird. You just say “So, what are you most excited about next year? Oh is that something you plan on doing for a long time? Here’s what I plan on doing when I’m….” See not weird. It’s called “making conversation” and “getting to know someone”
2) Share yours
3) Be honest with yourself
4) Love yourself enough to be honest
5) Do not be afraid to be alone. You won’t be. You deserve to be in a long lasting happy wonderfully matched relationship. That will only happen if you have your goals and you date someone whose goals fit.
Ok, so what if you’re already in a relationship? Well, hopefully you have already communicated your future plans. But, if not as a couple, set some goals together. What do you both like doing? Where do you want to go? I found myself in a relationship where our goals just didn’t line up. Was breaking up easy? Nope! But, honestly it was the right thing to do. Afterwards I sat myself down. Wrote out my hearts desires and didn’t settle until I met my goal match. Do we have the same exact goals. No…I am a Pilates instructor he isn’t. But do we want the same things in life? Yes! How did we get here? We shared our goals for our future before we did the relationship thing… It sounds crazy to you now. But what if we all started doing this? What if every single person started dating to find their future mate instead of finding someone to attach themselves to? Maybe if more people started dating this way this idea wouldn’t sound so crazy?!
Go set your goals, then find your match

Desire: the New Goal Movement

Do not worry!  This is not another “How to set Resolutions you can stick to” blog.  I SWEAR! In fact you will never hear me talk about resolutions. Why? Well, I am just not sure anyone actually writes ones they want to do. More often they make resolutions they think they should do. Then, because these resolutions were not wholly yours, they are not kept, and the inevitable feeling of failure rears its ugly head.
I looked up the top resolutions for 2014. How many of these did you make last New Years?

1) Lose Weight

2) Get Organized

3) Spend Less, Save More

4) Enjoy Life to the Fullest

5) Staying fit and Healthy

6) Learn Something Exciting

7) Quit Smoking

8) Help Others in Their Dreams

9) Fall in Love

10) Spend More Time with Family

Now, how many of those did you Keep?  My point exactly!

So…like I said this is not a blog on resolutions. Resolutions just don’t work they way they are intended. Instead: set desires.  Resolutions rarely work. And don’t bother setting objective goals either. Nope! This year let’s set desires based on how you want to feel!  FEEL…you know feelings? Emotions. Desires! What does your heart and soul desire for your life this year and beyond?

Desire…the sexy Live ClareLesley way to prepare you for a positive path for your future! It’s the Fuck Yes way to set your “goals”. If you don’t desire the outcome, it’s a Fuck No! If something doesn’t resonate with you regularly, inevitably you’ll stop working towards it.  How do you want to feel next year about your career? What do you desire in your work life. How do you want to feel about your relationships? What do you desire in your friendships, partners?  How do you want to feel about your “insert your desire here”?

I know it sounds so odd to focus on desires at the beginning of the year; the end of the holiday season. But trust me it’s a much more positive way to achieve what you want in life to set goals based on feelings. Think about it. Example: how often did you say you were going to lose 10 lbs and only lost 8lbs. Then got frustrated, beat yourself up, and gave up?  What if instead of setting a measurable goal by the scale, you set a goal on how you want to feel about your body. For example in 2015 you want to see the beauty you possess. Treat your body like the temple it is. At the end of 2015 you want to look in the mirror and be proud of what you see. Then instead of counting every single calorie and binging out at the gym with the rest of the “resolutionaries” you made decisions based on feeling proud.

Lets look at some of the common resolutions and translate them into achievable desires.

Resolution: Spend less, Save More

Desire: Financially in Control

Would someone who is financially in control avoid checking their bank balance?  If you want to feel financially in control, you will filter important decisions through this feeling.  You may want to download a financial planner app to help you follow your money easier. Remember someone who is in control isn’t necessarily penny pinching. Instead, they know where there money is going and how much is going where and when.

Resolution: Go to the Gym

Desire: To have more energy

To feel more energetic will you get results sitting around and watching TV, eating salty foods? Or could you walk to the store instead of drive? Will you drink water instead of soda? Will you enjoy your food instead of eating because you think you need to? What activities give you an energetic feeling? Put those in your calendar and schedule your life around them.

Do you see where this is all going?  Somehow as we get older time flies faster. If you keep putting off setting goals you really want to achieve in your life you will wake up one day feeling regret or that it’s too late.  I am here to say that December is the new January! You don’t have to wait until the first of the year to get started.

Get honest with yourself about where you want your life to go someday. Get honest with your hearts desires! You are so freaking worth it! Ask your 100-year-old self what you want to tell stories about. How do you want to feel when you look back at your life. Work backwards from there. A year from now you will be so thrilled by what you started today.

Let’s ring in 2015 looking forward to being in control of how we want to FEEL not with all these rules about what can’t do anymore or what we need to do more of.  Feel Free, Feel Fresh and Feel Alive. Feel DESIRE in 2015!

Share your 2015 feelings and Desires with the Clare and I and the other Live ClareLesley Readers here!