Why not Fail?

I put out a lot of myself “out there.” I have blogposts for Live ClareLesley and As The Crows Fly (my hubby and I blog, too) For Profitable Pilates, my business I have “notes to inspire” that I send out each week to those who sign up. I rarely hear back from any of the subscribers. I wonder: Did they read them? Did they like it? Hello…is anyone out there?!

Sometimes doubt, or that little negative voice, will get in my head. “What’s the point? Why am I doing this?”  But then I remember a couple things.  One, Clare and I have always tried to remind ourselves that we write our blogs for the joy of doing it.  Two, as Brene Brown likes to say “what would you do whether you failed or not?”

Whether I fail or not? What does that mean?

You’ve probably seen a bumper sticker or heard “what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” It’s something people use to help people set goals, find a new journey and get going on their life. But, the truth is even if you thought up what you could do without failing doesn’t mean you won’t.


Does that mean you won’t do that “it” if you could fail? Which makes me wonder why failing is getting such a bad rap?

Failure gives us one very important thing: FEEDBACK.  It tells you what’s working, what’s not working and maybe whether or not you keep going. Failure isn’t a period. It’s not “The End.” It’s simply an outcome. Truth is, failure might not even be a bad thing. Plenty of amazing inventions have come out of failure–Latisse came out of experiments to help baldness. Instead of helping hair grow it made eyelashes and eyebrows grow! So, was that a failure?


I was listening to Happier  a podcast with Gretchen Rubin and her sister. They were talking about wether something was bad or not. How do you know that “bad” thing was a bad thing? Maybe, in 5 years you’ll look back and be glad that “bad” thing happened. What we feel is failing might be the exact thing we need to get to where we are supposed to go!

Doing something because you have to is amazing. Writing a blog, going for a job interview, trying something new because it is inside you and you just have to get it out is worth it. I will continue to write wether anyone reads it or not. I will continue to create and put out what is begging to be created even if I am the only one who enjoys it. I will continue to continue!

  1. Do “it” because you want to: not because you think it will look good or maybe someone will like it. The “likes” are fleeting. Also, just because someone didn’t like, comment or applaud doesn’t mean they didn’t see it or care about it.
  2. Be authentic: if you are doing what makes you the best you, if you are staying on your true north, being your whole awesome self you literally cannot fail.
  3. Keep on Keeping on: once you go for “it” pat yourself on the back and continue your journey. Once you have done something there is another something in you waiting to be created.
  4. Put your blinders on: Often we feel pretty freaking great about ourselves and what we do until we do the comparison thing…remember that everything is not as it seems. Like a horse staying on it’s course, racing towards the finish line puts on his blinders so should we.
  5. Freedom: when it doesn’t matter what the outcome is you can really go for it! You can really leap. You may fall, miss the net but the more you leap the stronger you get at landing.

After writing this blog I received my latest analytics for Profitable Pilates. Just because I felt like I was hearing crickets doesn’t mean there weren’t crowds! My open rates and click rates are incredible as far as what is considered average. So, the reality is success comes in all forms. What feels like failure is simply feedback. What will I do next? Whatever is in me and it won’t matter if it’s a success or not because I simply must do it!

xx~LL

Your Greatest Mistake?

What was it? What mistake was your greatest? The biggest, best mistake ever?!

As you may know from some previous blogs I am a podcast lover. I really enjoy listening.  Mostly I listen to other authors podcasts.  I wish I had more time to read but I don’t… so, I listen to their podcasts and then if I find myself say YAAS!!! High fiving the air, I buy their books.

On a recent podcast I heard the interviewer ask the author: what was your greatest mistake? What was you best mistake?  As someone who lives without regrets I have to admit I was caught off guard.  I didn’t understand why anyone would want to think of their lives and highlighting mistakes. But, then I got to thinking about all of my “mistakes.”  I thought about the stupid boys I dated.  The jobs I have had.  Not saying yes to some experience,  or saying no to someone.  Then I thought about where I am today.  I realized I had some great mistakes.  I have had some of the best mistakes ever–I am so happy I have had them.

Let me explain, I believe everything happens for a reason.  Not that anyone of us deserves bad things to happen, but that sometimes things that feel bad, seem bad, or just are bad are part of our path to greatness.


When I left my ex, it sucked.  I felt terrible for hurting him. I struggled financially, emotionally.  I questioned for a bit whether or not it was the right decision.  In the healing process I thought about the “Red Flags” of our relationship. I didn’t want to repeat my past.  I realized that had I said no to one of the dates in the beginning, had I dated others had I stopped things when my gut said to.  We probably wouldn’t have made it 5 years. We wouldn’t have probably made it past a few months.

But, if I hadn’t dated him I would not have learned what I know now about myself.  I wouldn’t have written my first book most likely.  I wouldn’t have known what I need out of a relationship. I wouldn’t have been prepared to meet the man I was meant to marry.

So, one of my greatest mistakes were all the bad dates I went on that got me here today.   Had I not had all those I would never have realized true love, true romance, true teamwork and true partnership.   Who would think that thousands of bad dates, and a perfect-on-paper relationship would lead to a happy marriage to someone else, a book, and many other successes, including this blog?!?

You may be sitting here, reading this and saying “Lesley! I am in a huge issue now. This could be the biggest mistake of my life. It doesn’t feel good. ” Like I said before, it didn’t feel good after all the bad dates. I truly wish I could go back to my twenty something self and tell her “this is going to suck at the end. But there will be a pot of partnership gold at then end of the storm.” Oh, how I wish! Sadly, readers, we don’t get that. We can’t take our future selves to our present selves and tell them “Everything will be ok.”


We can trust, though. Trust ourselves. Trust the Universe. Today prepares us for tomorrow, next year and fifty plus years from now. If you are feeling like you are in the worst mistake ever and you don’t know what to do. Here are some tips for you:

  • Don’t make any decisions right away. Get your breath back to normal.
  • Tell yourself how much you Love yourself, trust yourself and want and deserve nothing but the best for yourself.
  • Remind yourself you are being molded for the future. You are growing. Growth spurts don’t feel great while they are happening. But when you’re “taller” you can see the bigger picture.

  • Journal. Write and write and write. The first half will be your brain the second half will be God.
  • Get grounded! Lay on the ground. Put heavy blankets on top of you. Eat heavy foods (yes, I am saying to eat heavy foods) warm and heavy foods. Drink hot fluids. You need to feel whole and warm and soothed.
  • Just Keep Swimming. It’ll all make sense one day. That day isn’t today. Lucky you, you don’t have to have the answers now.

This brings me back to the beginning, what was your greatest, best mistake? Share them with us and our readers. The beauty about life is we are not alone. Your story can help so many others grow!

Xx~LL

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