Nine ways to win at life

Advice. We all seek it until we don’t want it (which is when we actually need it). Its always changing too, both our needs of the advice and the actual advice. As we grow, or refuse to grow, the advice pool is always there. Here are some pieces of advice, that will help you win at life.

  • Worry. This is a must. Do it daily, because when you don’t worry, things don’t get done, or people get hurt, or life changing or threatening things happen. Worry fixes everything, and takes up very minimal brainwaves. So please, make sure to worry every day. Constantly, if possible.
  • Be Impatient. There is nothing that makes other people more happy to help you as when you are completely irrational and impatient—they know you have a schedule, and they know that you are the most important person/thing/happening in their life, so if you keep reminding them with your impatience, this will help you get what you need done.
  • Do everything at once. People who can’t do, multitask. If you try to do everything at once, you have the perfect excuse when you can’t finish anything. And if you get everything done while trying to do it at once, well, that is just a double win, now isn’t it?
  • Perfect perfection. Always focus on being the absolute best. Never settle for anything less. Ever. Never forgive yourself or others if perfection isn’t achieved daily.
  • Rudeness rules. Everyone else is so much less important than you are, and they just don’t understand your life, your needs or your time limits. So why not use rudeness, and pepper it with a LOT of sarcasm, so they understand who you are and will get out of your way so you can be that amazing person, and live your amazing life.
  • Focus on yourself. When you focus just on you, you understand yourself. You will always have to live with yourself, unlike everyone else. No one else has to live with you every day, so you’re the only one who knows what you need and when. Even if you don’t know. You can just sit there and focus on it and commiserate with yourself. Eventually everyone will realize that this is the best way to make yourself the best.
  • Throw everyone under the bus. Remember to get to number one, you have to get there first. If that means you have to pave the way with bodies, do it.
  • Know you’re perfect. Never try to learn anything new, make yourself better, understand others, grow, change, or delineate from your original self or plan. It only leads to destruction.
  • Never, ever, ever stop to breathe or take a moment. Woo-woo people who light candles and believe in things bigger than themselves take time to stop and breathe. You are on your way to winning at life, and your body does those things naturally, so why stop and take the time to do them?

If you’ve read this far, and stayed with me the entire way, I hope you are laughing. This was all sarcasm… To live a great life, do the OPPOSITE of all of these things. There is NO winning life. There is just LIVING life. Mistakes happen. We all get broken and bruised—but you just have to keep getting back up and trying again. Breathe. Be kind. Do the best you can. No one is perfect and we should STOP SEEKING perfection–it doesn’t exist.  Live your life for YOU, but don’t knock everyone down on your way. You’ll be much happier.

Xoxo–Clare

If you started today…

I recently was coaching a girl who absolutely loves her part-time gig. It’s a really part-time gig and it might be more appropriate to call it a passion project. Call it whatever you want but she freaking loves it and wishes it were her full-time job. This is where I come in. I am all about helping people rock what they love for a living.

You might be sitting there thinking she should just go for it. You wouldn’t be alone in that either. Of course that’s what I want her to do it. To just go for it! But, the truth is aside from the logistics there are often obstacles we put in our own way that keep us from doing what we love for a living.

  1. There are no short cuts! Stop trying to figure out a way to make something happen as quickly as it can and find that way to do it correctly. She has some of the education she needs to do her passion but not enough to make a living off of it. She could continue to do things the way she is but she will not get as far as she wants. At some point she is going to have to go back and do it the right way. That someday might as well be now.
  2. Money, time and other excuses: Sure doing something you want to do might take more money, more education, more time and more of something you think you don’t have. Realize that these are just excuses for why you are not doing what you need to be doing. It’s fear based too. You know what’s behind door number one. You are doing it. You may hate it but it’s safe. Door number 2 is full of unknown and fear of the ‘what if’s’. Ask yourself a bunch of “how” questions instead. How can I make this happen? How can I get the education I need? How….
  3. What if game: Instead of playing it with fear in mind play it with excitement. What if you did the things you needed to do to do the thing you want? What if it works out? What if you had all that you needed to rock your world? Isn’t that exciting?! Now, go back to your “how” game and ditch the excuses once and for all.
  4. Ask for help: Seriously, you are your own worst enemy. So, maybe asking yourself for advice on the matter is not the best thing. Ask someone who is doing the thing  you want to be doing for advice. You may not like what you hear but at least you’ll have a better basis to go off of.
  5. Do the thing! Seriously, what is the worst that is going to happen? It doesn’t workout? Ok, at least you tried. But, I bet it does workout because its the thing you most want in life. It’s the thing that makes you happy. If it doesn’t workout that’s part of the journey too.

My client is busy putting the dates she needs to take off in 2017 in her calendar. She’s cutting back on her groceries and other bills that she can and she’s asking for some help from others. If she goes along with the plan in one year she’ll already be doing the thing she wants to do for a living! Time is already flying we might as well take advantage of it and get started today!

xx~LL

Thankful Thursday

Each week we encourage you to tune in, join the discussion and pass on your own thankful thoughts!


We are thankful for signs.  They point us where to go in life.  Sometimes they’re irritating; sometimes they come at just the right time.  Either way, they are helpful.

We are thankful for candles.  Something about the gentle burning warmth is soothing and inspiring.  Need a change in the air, light a candle!

Comment below with what you’re thankful for, and post on social media with #thankfulthursday #liveclarelesley

If you have a comment scroll down past the tags below (or up, if you’re on the main page), or email us at liveclarelesley@gmail.com We LOVE your feedback!! Follow us on Facebook or DAILY inspiration!

Thankful Thursday

Each week we encourage you to tune in, join the discussion and pass on your own thankful thoughts!


We are thankful for inspiration–it comes at anytime and it brings excitement to life!  Follow that inspiration and see where it leads!

We are thankful for accessories.  Ok.  So this one is silly, but an accessory pulls everything together–and it also pulled Clare and LL together!  Did you know they met while working in an accessories store in California?!?  It was right around this time many many years ago that Clare and LL met!

Comment below with what you’re thankful for, and post on social media with #thankfulthursday #liveclarelesley

If you have a comment scroll down past the tags below (or up, if you’re on the main page), or email us at liveclarelesley@gmail.com We LOVE your feedback!! Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for DAILY inspiration!

9 steps to effective goal mapping (or How to meet Oprah) 

About a month ago when we discussed upcoming blogs, I groaned out loud on the phone to Lesley when we discussed that I should write this blog. Goals–Lesley is the half of this pair that makes them, and is successful at achieving them. Continually. She gets so excited about goals and achieving them–check out her post about goals last year…I’m more of a dreamer than a goal maker. However, the next day I picked up on a podcast where I left off, and BOOM-I was super inspired. So here we go: Goals 2016.
I was listening to Lewis Howes’s podcast and he was answering questions from listeners.  Lewis was asked what his 5 year goals include. Although that podcast itself isn’t the focus, this question is. But here is the link if you want to check it out.  He started listing people he wanted to interview–and the first few he listed I was with him, oh yeah he could totally get THOSE guests (like I know his reach from listening to his podcast for a month) and then he listed Oprah and President Obama. In my head, I thought “oh yeah, that’s reaching too far. He’ll never get those.” I was getting ready for work and I literally froze in my tracks–waaaaayyyyiiiit. Why COULDN’T he get those guests? He’s a prominent figure in the personal growth world. He’s got a podcast and a best seller and a great overcoming adversity story. He should have goals that big.

Ok. So let’s switch gears for a moment and I’ll come back to this. At this moment Lesley and I are trying to figure out new goals for our LiveClareLesley empire, and so I’m taking in A LOT of content (books, blogs, podcasts) on making a better business, being a better person, better ways to attract a partner…so generically: how to be better. What a lot of the advice boils down to is:

1) Find your strengths.

2) Find your desires.

3) Aim higher than both.

The people spouting this info are always saying that is what they did, became more successful than their gigantic and once unattainable dream, and now people are looking to these souls who have reached their goals, listening to them repeat these instructions.

strengthsdesires

Now, back to, my new personal growth crush: Lewis Howes, and his goal to get to interview Oprah or the President–I stopped in my tracks because I was pooh poohing a man who just published a book and is on the best seller list. WHY?!? Because, I realized two seconds later, I don’t trust that if I made the goal to interview Oprah from where I’m standing at this moment in my life, that I could interview her; which would make our Live ClareLesley empire explode! That woman is a current day Midas! But why should she talk to two gals in a startup self help realm? I was so wrong and judgmental on TWO levels.  I was judging someone else based on my fear to make a goal, I wrote about something similar on this blog.

The second bad judgment–the only real reason she wouldn’t do an interview with me is because it’s not my goal to get there. Let me say that again: the only REAL thing stopping me from talking to Oprah is that I haven’t taken the steps to get the opportunity to talk to her.

In the same phone convo where I shirked at writing about goals, Lesley said: if I want something, I’ll move heaven and hell to get it. If I’m not that interested, I will let it pass by.

globegoal

THAT IS SO TRUE! If we don’t REALLY want something, why is it a goal?  Maybe I could get the interview with Oprah, or maybe I don’t really want it. In other words, I’m either not aiming my goal to get me where I want to go, OR I don’t actually WANT that goal.
Another thought: at the end, or near end, of any theater project every theater friend asks me: so what’s your next project? It’s a general question we all ask each other. Even if the actor asked this question doesn’t have a show, we always have a plan: I’m going to get my headshots redone so I can hit the ground running in January; I’m taking a class starting next week; I’ve got 5 auditions next week…you get the picture. In other words, actors are always working to get more work, to achieve the bigger goal. Many of my friends dream of moving to Hollywood/NYC to make it big. We continue to strive towards this dream. I’m always planning.  Always looking for the NEXT.  So…..why don’t I do this in other areas of my life? Why don’t I have the goal to someday interview Oprah for Live ClareLesley?!? This blog, this empire is just as important–it’s a newer dream with a newer goal, but it’s just as important as my dream to be a Broadway star and win several awards, get asked to do a television show that will run 10 years and have re-runs that will fund my life, let me be bi-costal, travel, and choose how to live out my late 60s through the next 40 years. (Woah, that’s specific. You’re probably having a similar thought to this paragraph as I did to Lewis saying he wanted to interview Oprah. Yup. Brought it back around).

lightbulb

Ok. So here’s the New Goal Idea (wellllll, it’s not new, and you’ve probably read something like this before, but reminders are always helpful–and maybe you’re in a better place to receive it now. If not, bookmark this page–you’ll think of it and want it later!) we are going to map out our goals backwards!! Go get a pen and paper. Yes. Paper and pen. I’ll wait.

Ok. Write out your answers. Here we go:

1) What is your big lifetime goal?

(For my example, I’m going to steal Lewis’s and say: I want to interview Oprah)

2) Why is that your goal?

(Uh, Oprah is amazing and everything she touches is gold. Oh and she is a role model and helps people–and I want to help people) Oprah is an influence and I have some great questions I would love to ask her, that I don’t think anyone else has asked.

–if you don’t have an answer for this question, or your answer is hard to come to: re-think question #1. It could be you have a different version of this goal, as in you want to meet a different celebrity like a Kardashian, or maybe you want to be a great influence in the world.

3) what is the last step in your goal? (Huh?!?) This is something that you can control but seems inflated. Maybe even untouchable. It’s ok, humor me.

Ok. Ummm the last step in my goal is to have a wide following (like 200,000 followers) and a published book on the best seller list, so I’m a heavy enough hitter to have Oprah know who I am, and her people will answer the phone when I call.

4) How do I get there? (Ugh! Why are my own questions SO hard?!?)

I need to write the book. I need to build up my empire so great that other people are sharing and helping me market/sell my name and ideas.

5) How do I get to my answer in #4?

(Whaaaaat?!? Is this a trick?)

I create a book idea that is sellable and get it to a publisher (or other options), and I establish and make a big name for myself.

6) How do I get to answer #5?

I brainstorm a book idea. Market my website.

7) How do I get to answer #6? I do research; Look at other books, figure out what audience I have, figure out what I want to say. I go look for marketing tips, books, strategies, people who are good at marketing and ask for help/advice.

8) How do I get to #7?

Get an audience by starting a blog/podcast/website/social media presence.

9) How do I get to #8?
…Ok. I think you get the generic idea. Keep digesting your “gigantic and scary and maybe even seemingly-unattainable” goal until you get to tangible solutions/or mini-goals that will start you up that ladder.

Now, please note, that I’d at any given step, if you had no solution, you might want to think what it is that you really want. OR if it’s an old goal and you’ve already tried the steps, walk away and get a new goal (either for a bit or for good)! No sense in driving yourself crazy for a goal you don’t really want anymore.

ALSO–if you find that your goals are more focused on others dreams or goals (as in: my mother always wanted to have a cooking show, so I’m going to be a chef because once I made amazing Mac and cheese and she’s always told me I should be a chef, even though cutting tomatoes is boring and fish heads terrify me. Um, yeah. No. Get a new goal. One that YOU want.)

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Take this paper you wrote your answers on and put it up somewhere you will look at it daily: next to the coffee pot, next to your bathroom mirror, tape it to your computer top or television! You need to look at your goals DAILY in order to remind/challenge/cheer you on to your penultimate goal. (Yes, for you anal retentives, or you feng shui types, feel free to rewrite or make a more attractive version of your goals. But–once you’ve achieved each step, cross it off or check it off or rewrite the sheet and put it ON TOP (don’t throw away the old sheet–you SHOULD be reminded of what you’ve achieved.) But DO change the look or location of the sheet so you don’t get used to seeing it, and start to ignore it. You can also revise as you go–if you find that other solutions might help you get to your goal in a better way.

Feel free to do this goal mapping for any goal. Dig deep into those big goals–anything is attainable, you just need to figure out how to get there.

So now go forth, dream big! (No one was ever hurt by dreaming big, only for not challenging themselves!!) Go answer the question: what’s next?

–Clare

If you have a comment scroll down past the tags below (or up, if you’re on the main page), or email us at liveclarelesley@gmail.com We LOVE your feedback!! Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for DAILY inspiration!

WE WERE NOMINATED! So, we pay it forward

liebster1 Hey loyal readers!  We love inspiring you, and we love the inspiration we get from you–especially our fellow bloggers!  We were nominated for a Liebster Award by JustAddTea! WE love you!!  and Love that you love us!  Anyhoo–we’ve followed The Rules, answered your questions, and want to pass on the love!  Go check out JustAddTea’s Blog after reading this! The purpose of the Liebster Award is to recognize up-and-coming new bloggers, bring exposure to them, and encourage networking between us. The Rules

  1. Link the person who nominated you to your blog post. Thank them and let them know you answered their questions. 2. Answer the 7 questions given to you by the nominator. 3. Nominate 5-11 other bloggers with a following of less than 500. 4. Create 7 questions for your nominees to answer. 5. Let the nominees know that they have been nominated by going to their blog and notifying them. 6. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”.

Our answers to the questions posed to us:

  1. Why did you start blogging? We met up to reunite a cold evening in January and realized we were living very similar lives even though we are in different places. People are always asking us for advice. And we are constantly learning through our life trials. We thought we’d share experiences and inspire.
  2. What is your favorite blog post that you’ve written so far? LL: Sex With Friends Clare: Growing Out of Friends
  3. What do you do when you’re not blogging? Clare: actress/nanny in NYC and all the running around that entails! I’m also writing a work of fiction. LL: When I’m not blogging I’m coaching! I teach Pilates and coach teachers and studio owners on business and life goals. Enjoy a good book, Netflix and hiking, yoga…such an LA answer! Haha
  4. How do you come up with your blog ideas?  LL: life in general! Sometimes it’s simply an over heard conversation that gets me thinking. Often it’s hearing someone say something and my reaction to it. As in Don’t want it now. My now boyfriend then said “I just don’t know what I want right now” and my reaction was “I know what I want! I just don’t want it right now.” Clare: It’s life inspired. Usually it’s because I’ve had a phone conversation with a friend and a topic stands out and the hamster in my brain won’t stop running until I’m writing.
  5. Who inspired you most in your life? Clare: I’m generally inspired by anyone who is out there chasing a dream. LL: No one particular person…maybe when I was younger Santa Claus intrigued me because he could do so many things in one night! Now as an adult I find inspiration in people following their dreams and taking their own journey.
  6. Do you have a set place/time/routine when you blog?  Clare: I usually get inspired late at night–this probably comes from being a college student and writing those late night papers. I also get crazy inspiration on the subway and in the shower. LL: Nope! Maybe some day but I will write whenever I’m inspired and have a moment to get the idea down. I find my outdoor office is where I get complete blogs out and my comfy bed is where I can edit.
  7. Do you hope to impact people who read your blog?  Why or why not? LL: absolutely!! I want for people to have their best life. To be their best self. To have self love and self worth. My experiences good, bad, ugly and or sexy can help them reach their next level. Clare: definitely. We aspire to inspire hope and quench the fears in this sea of life. We want people live their best lives and share their experiences.

We nominate: This, That, and the other Thang  (You’re a DOLL!  We adore you!) Fearsome Beard  (You make us giggle, and wish we could have beards!) Wheat Free Dairy Free Kitchen (These are yummy! and LL is GF!!) Simply Delish  (Yeah, we like food. A LOT.  And we adore your blogs!) Hopelessly Romantic Cinderella   (Your adventures are entertaining!)   And now, nominees above, you have to answer our Questions: 1) What was your most exciting moment with your blog? 2) Craziest thing you’ve written or written about? 3) Did you inspire someone today? Why or Why not? 4) What is your favorite quote or saying? 5) If you could have one person read your blog—living or dead—who would it be? 6) Is the glass half empty or half full? Explain. 7) What do you want to be when you grow up?