Goals update 2016 #20 Clare

Finance:

I was at my little sister’s wedding last week, so I spent money to travel.  But it was worth it!  She was BEAUTIFUL!! AND it was my birthday this week… so… ya know… I didn’t go crazy, but I wasn’t as good as I’ve been the past few weeks.

Fitness:

You would think that its harder to keep up the fitness while on vacation–I actually did more.  I did a few extra every day in building up to my vacation, and then I ended up doing more on my vacation, too!

Organization:

I’m slowly getting rid of old makeup.  Really–I don’t think you should keep stuff that is old… like years old.  Especially if it smells funny or crumbles quickly.

Book:

I’ve been talking to a lot of people about it lately.  Maybe its the gas I need to get started again!

Agent:

Nothing this week.

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Six ways to find your inner strength

You know what is amazing? Strength. And even more amazing than the strength itself is finding it unexpectedly inside you.
Lesley and I have been “live blogging” our goal reports to you weekly. We were inspired to do this because we were commended by a few readers when we announced we met a goal, and we thought that it might be a fun journey for you to take with us…because although the achieving is great–the journey is always…interesting. Also, posting publicly our goals is not only a follow-able journey, but it keeps us honest and on top of things we deem important. Things we need to work on to make ourselves stronger.
One of mine is fitness. I believe I wrote in my original post in January that my fitness goal is to find something I stick with and will make a habit of, as I am one of those who will work out for a bit doing one thing and will get bored and will just stop doing it. I want something I can practice regularly and keep doing.


Among the three things that seem to have stuck are Sun Salutations. I started just doing 4-5 every morning. This in itself was a struggle for a few reasons:

I’m out of shape and my upper body strength sucks

I’ve never been good at Downward Facing Dog

I LOVE waking up slowly: having a cup of coffee and just sitting for an hour or more in the morning.

If I’m working, I set my alarm until the last possible moment I can so I get all the sleep I want.
This was the beauty of sun salutations. A few can take as little or as long as I want. If I want to, I can do them quickly while my coffee is brewing and they don’t take any of my precious “Me” morning time, or my getting ready for work. Contrarily, if I want a more intense workout, I can stretch longer and deeper.


Now, any of you who have taken yoga know that Sun Salutations can take on many forms, with different poses in between. I generally have a plank pose in the middle of mine (prayer pose, down into a bend, lunge one leg back then the other to meet and go into plank, then lower down before pushing up into cobra or up dog, then push back into down dog, then waddle my way forward into half bend, then up into prayer pose. Repeat).
Back in college I took a few semesters of yoga, and I remember being extremely proud of my pectorals (aka, I had perky boobs and they were even better with strong muscles underneath-hey, I never said I wasn’t vain!) and loved yoga because of this. I also loved yoga because I could do it. I’m tall and strong, but wasn’t physically fit. And I loved that I could do yoga, be challenged, and was getting stronger without too much sweat or pain.
I chose to dive back into yoga this year, at least minimally because it works with my schedule and I can be the master of my own workout. I can go at my own pace–whatever that is that morning. And I can work as hard as I want to.


Again, my goal this year was to find something I would stick with. An addition to walking my 3 mile average that I walk daily in NYC. Something a little extra that I would want to do and can keep up with regularly. Losing weight and health and gaining muscle, blah blah are great–but my ultimate goal is to find something I’ll stick to. Something I won’t cringe at doing. Something I’ll just DO. So my body doesn’t go into rigarmortis before I die.
And it’s working. I’m doing 5-8 sun salutations in the morning. I aim for 8, but if I’m not feeling it when I first start, I do what I can and come back to them later. When I first started doing them, my body was like: “GURRRRRL. What do you think you’re doing?!?” But this morning, I found myself holding plank for 10 seconds each time without shaking arms, and holding down dog without wanting to cry–something that even at the peak of my previous yoga tenure, seemed to happen regularly. In other words, this morning I found myself stronger.
After only practicing a minimal amount daily, I’ve gained strength. My practice is maybe 10 minutes. I don’t really push myself. I don’t strain or hurt. Which is good because a lot of times I’ve stopped whatever workout because it hurts or I’m tired. And then I get out of the habit.

This may not be a surprise to a lot of you, but the secrets to getting stronger are:

1. Do something you can do regularly if not daily. If you can fit it in your schedule, you’ll keep doing it. Gretchen Rubin says in her book about habits is that it is easier to keep doing a habit then it is to not do it. So to quote the famous Nike ad campaign: just do it.

2. Find accountability–I think what gets me through the hump is that I blog about my progress weekly. I know people will read or will ask and therefore I am more willing to commit and stay accountable.

3. Make it convenient–I do my yoga in my living room while the coffee is brewing. Practice instead of staring at the percolation process pushes me to do it and get through it. I also like the challenge and the blood pumping!


4. Go at your pace–I know I like to feel successful about working out, so I start low and when I get confident I add more. I started with 5 sun salutations every day. I’ve added three more, and spend more time in each pose. Some days I add push-ups or add a Warrior or Triangle pose. When I feel good, I want to keep going. You could be the opposite–and that is fine. Do that. Go your own pace. No one else’s.

5. Know your goal. Maybe this should be first, but know what you want out of your pursuit. I would love to be skinny, but I know that “thin” isn’t a strong enough motivator for me. There are just too many amazing things to eat and too many things I would rather do than exercise. Therefore a “health” or anti-stagnant goal is great for me. Know what you really want so you can know what your focus is.

6. Don’t expect results or be upset if they don’t come right away–results will come, don’t get me wrong. But it might come in different forms. I lose weight in the three places I feel fattest in, last. And it never fails that I always feel larger/fatter within 3-5 weeks of working out. It just happens. Part of it is because I’m looking more closely. Part of it is because I’m expecting my body to lose weight. When I don’t expect my body to do things, it shows me results. Like being stronger.


Knowing these things will help you focus on creating and sticking with a habit that will eventually grant you the strength you slowly will work up to. You’ll get there!

–Clare

Goal Update 2016 #18 LL

Wow, I cannot believe May is literally halfway over. I have to say it’s been a crazy wirlwind of a month. I have some very exciting goals updates for you. Sadly, I cannot give away lots of details but just know it’s super exciting.

Business: I had an amazing meeting with my team and we are gearing up for some big projects. Our efforts have yielded some great responses. Now, it’s time to start aiming a little higher.

I also have been hoping for 2 huge things to happen. In the last 2 weeks I have received word that both these dreams would be coming true. Something I didn’t even think would happen this year. Just shows everything happens the way it is supposed to. Don’t worry I will share the deets when it is time.

Health: this week is my doctor appointment. Goal get my stomach and my body to work together is still in progress. I am feeling 60% closer to health already.

Personal: My hubby and I have worked hard at tackling our goals together and I am happy to say that our financial goal and our puppy goal are on track!

This week it’s all about follow up! Planting seeds is only good if you plan on watering them. I’ll be doing some watering this week. What about you?

xx~LL

7 Ways to Get Through Professional Loss

Within ten days, I lost a gig making a nice pile of money, and I lost a role that I thought was mine.  It was a rough week–two separate losses that I was not expecting but had planned on. I could have gone into a very dark corner and stayed there for a bit; weeks; months. I could have taken both inward and beaten myself up; berated myself with asking: why?

Truthfully, I feel mildly like a child complaining that “its not fair” what happened to me.  I’m frustrated that things didn’t go my way.  But after crying over one, and stamping my feet over the other, I came to the conclusion:  these things weren’t meant to happen for me.  I took a deep breath, released my frustrations and moved on.


Seriously, this overwhelming sense of calm came over me both times, and I realized that no matter how much I wanted these situations to happen, no matter how much I wanted this role and this job, no matter how big they were in my brain, neither one is meant to be mine.  Neither one is meant for me.  My time is to be spent elsewhere.  The thought that  I’m not meant to be (for you Hamilton fans) “in the room where it happens” is frustrating because I had been planning on both of these activities for a few months, plans were made around them. Obviously, I was not living in the moment and counting my chickens before they hatched. But, to quote Robert Blake, sometimes “the best laid plans of mice and men go awry.”  Or maybe they weren’t the “best” plans.


Part of the reason I felt release from these disappointments go because although I wanted both situations to be in my favor, it truly feels like neither is the right direction for me to move in.  I cried about not getting the role–I wanted it; I had been talking to one of the producers for about a year and a half about playing this role and was over the moon when I was asked to audition for the role. And I suffered panic and confusion for about an hour over the gig–I wasn’t able to work because I was short a qualification and I sent emails back and forth trying to figure out how to rectify the lack. Neither, although both I want terribly, are the way I’m supposed to travel in my life.


Its an interesting feeling, because once I came to terms with both of these adjustments in my life, I feel better.  I don’t feel bitter or angry.  I’m not trying to bargain to get back what I feel I’ve lost.  I’m not crying anymore–I did over the role for about three hours, but I’m a highly emotional being… it makes me a great actress.  I’m at peace.

How did I get there–actually I didn’t know.  Loss of something is hard. Loss of something you know is yours, is even harder. But as I wrote this blog, I realized, these were my steps:

  1. Be Upset.  Seriously.  When I found out, I called my mother, who told me it was ok to cry about my loss.  But I could cry about it that day, and then I had to move on.  I was given the permission to be upset, and a time limit for my grief.  Now, I realize this time limit thing doesn’t always work for everyone, but it really helped me.  I cried it out and was done.
  2. Breathe.  This is usually my step one, but you need to get the bad stuff out before you can take the good in.  Deep breaths help you remember that you’re still alive; that you’re still able to do many things.  True this didn’t work out.  True you wanted it.  But you’re still breathing.  Hear Viola Davis tell you: you is kind, you is smart, you is important.
  3. Take a minute.  Its ok to just chill out and just go through the motions of your days for a bit.  Get back to a stasis and an unheightened state of emotions.
  4. Tell yourself you’re going to be ok.  Keep telling yourself this.  There is some reason you’re not supposed to be headed down that path–and whatever it is, I’m sure its a good reason. 
  5. Look forward.  This step might come a few days or weeks after loss, FYI.  What can you do next?   What is the next step?  What is it that you needed out of the situation that you didn’t get?  (One of mine was money, the other was getting to fulfill a dream.  So for me–What other ways can I make money and what are other dreams, or other ways I can complete this dream?)  Is this the right direction, or should you head in a different one?
  6. Look backward.  Wait on this step until you’re emotionally clear–note you’re not allowed to beat yourself up with this step–its introspection only.  Was there anything you could have done differently?  Was there anything you can still do?  (Also make sure you’re not pathetic about it.  Needy and pathetic won’t get you far.)  Chances are you couldn’t have done anything differently–but note ways you could be more concise in the future.
  7. Make a new plan.  Do you want to head in the same direction?  Do you want to try a completely different goal?  For me, I’ll always keep auditioning–that part will come around again.  For the money, I’m realizing I’ll be alright with out the extra income, and I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with my finances with out the extra padding.

When faced with loss, you have to keep living.  You have to keep going.  Don’t let loss cripple you.  Take time to mourn, of course, but don’t let it be the anchor around your neck. Sometimes loss makes us refocus.  Sometimes loss saves us from ourselves.  Don’t harp on the past–instead take this lesson and move forward.  We only have control over the present.  Make it count.

Good luck!

–Clare

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5 Ways I’m Curbing My Workaholic Nature

I just realized, I’m a mild workaholic. I might even be a full-fledged workaholic… I have two main jobs. Well three…. I am an actress. I am an event planner’s assistant and I nanny. And then I have this blog, and I write and I do a bunch of other part time joby thingys. Ok, not just three.  So… the realization came just now as I was texting the mom I nanny for—Munchkin has today off of school, but she released me until the afternoon. My immediate response was to text my event planner to see if I could help her out with extra work.

And then it hit me. I’m a workaholic. I was up til 1:30 last night working. I was up at 7am to go to work yesterday. I work throughout the weekends. I am in constant contact with both bosses. Not to mention with the acting career I’m continually looking for auditions and classes to attend, and trying to network like crazy. In my down time, I go see shows—even though I enjoy them, its kind of part of my job to be up on what is out there and going on in the community…. Smoke is figuratively coming out of my ears as I’m typing this.

I’m a workaholic.

Question, what is the difference between someone who is passionate and loves their job and a workaholic? Its quite a fine line. I would tell you that I’m the passionate one, but sometimes, I truly feel the need, its almost an addiction to work.


I’ve been working since I was 13 doing babysitting, and my first real, on the books job, was when I was 17. My dad wouldn’t let me have a real job, I had to beg for one. This should have been a clue. Another clue was that in high school I wanted to be a part of EVERYTHING. I was the only person to graduate in my class in all four honor societies. I was in band, drama, newspaper, Spanish Club, competition forensics and debate. I wanted to take more art, and choir, and be in Student Government, but I couldn’t fit it in. I was actually disappointed that I couldn’t do more.

A day has 24 hours, and I usually spend 6-8 of those sleeping, but I swear sometimes I can squeeze 25 or even 26 hours out of a day. I don’t know how I do this other than telling myself that I can.


Then I find myself in crazy situations where I’ve booked myself solid for days, without a moment to eat, or pee, or breathe. Other times, like a few weeks ago, I go INSANE when I don’t have enough to do. I need constant activities, and in some light, entertainment. I can watch TV or a movie—although movies are hard… that is a lot of commitment to sitting for that long. And I live in NYC, I’d rather go see a play! But in these down times, I get super introspective and berate myself that I’m not doing enough. (Clare, seriously?!? By who’s standards?)This is the downside of the workaholic/passionate person lifestyle: feeling like I’m either doing way too much, or not even close to enough. That and not enough time for friends. I either have too much time or not enough.

I get overwhelmed by all the plays I haven’t seen, or books I haven’t read, or podcasts I haven’t listened to. Let alone the friends I haven’t seen in months who live less than 20 blocks from me. Let alone the things I need to do like cleaning my room! (Seriously, the stack of papers is STILL sitting there from September.)

I’m trying to make myself slow down. Here are my solutions—but please share yours in the comments!

  1. Carry a pen and paper, ALWAYS. It always seems like I think of blog ideas, or things I need to do, or calls I need to make when I’m on the subway, in the shower, or in down dog. NONE of these is a great place to get a mental reminder. I carry paper and jot it down, and then like my Lists Blog—I cross it off when I’m finished.
  2. I’m trying to spend more time IN down dog, the subway, or the shower. Ok, not literally, but I’m trying to give my brain more neutral time. The reason I remember things when I’m in those situations is because I shut my thoughts down temporarily, and those important things pop out.   Spending more time with my brain in neutral will help me refocus and remember. 
  3. LL talked about scheduling her life around the things she wanted to do in her Get Out of Your Own Way Blog and how she made it like an appointment in her life—which some things should be. I’m trying to actually schedule in my down time and a little bit of exercise time as well. (For those of you reading the Goals posts… you know I’m struggling with this!) By actually making myself take time to sit and do nothing, I’m letting my mind know it doesn’t always have to do. I’m also letting it rest. I can function on little sleep. I CAN’T function on little rest. My brain is very cloudy.
  4. This one is hard, but I’m trying to do no electronics 30 minutes before bed, as the light affects your ability to fall asleep http://legacy.kgw.com/story/news/investigations/2014/04/14/doctor-cell-phones-hurt-sleep-quality/12584984/#
  5. The exception to this is that I fall asleep to podcasts—this is great because it makes my brain shut off and listen to the podcast speakers—which are interesting but lull me to sleep, because I’m focused on those, not on the thoughts bouncing around in my brain.

I never thought I would be a woman who makes work come first. But I’m single with no kids (I think this is only partially to my busy lifestyle choices and my work ethic). I don’t think that I’m missing anything in my life, per se however, I do admire and feel a tinge of jealousy for those friends who seem to have more down time in their life or get to do more fun things like travel or hang with friends more.

This is going to take baby steps, especially since my first reaction today to my little bit of time off was to work more and my SECOND was to write a blog about it. Old habits are hard to break. I think I’ll go watch an episode of Castle now.

–Clare

 

Focus on what you have

Life is amazing! No, I am not joking. I am dead serious. We are often asked “How are you?” Or, “How are things?” I find that people are regularly surprised that I with enthusiasm (even when tired) say that “I’m Great” or, “I’m amazing.” Why do I think they are surprised? Well, they look at me like I’m lying. They respond questioningly with “Really?”

No, this blog is not about how amazing I am. Or why can’t people just take what you tell them for what it is. This blog is about focusing on what you have already in your life. Why? Because if you do your life will feel more amazing to you.


Last year I wrote how to deal with a barrage of green grass.  If you haven’t read it go ahead and check it out. It’ll help with what I am about to tell you. If you focus on what you have already. More will come your way. You don’t have to take my word for it. If you want someone with more clout check out The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes.

In his book (which we are reading for our book club so grab a copy and join us) he talks about the things that successful people regularly do. One is be grateful. Be grateful for what you already have.

I know, this sounds all new agey and yoga like. But, please stick with me here. It is so easy to get caught up in what we do not have. What we think we need. But, what if you instead just took an inventory of what you already have.


I am the first person to beat myself up. I know I just said my life is amazing and I meant it. But, in my personal work and workouts I can be the biggest judge.  I don’t need that little devil on my shoulder, I am perfectly capable of being right inside my head telling myself every little mistake I made. However, after reading this section about being grateful by focusing on all the things you already have, my mind went down a journey into realizing all the strength I already have. Yes, I want more. But, what if I just focused on what I rocked. Only focused on that. Sure, I have to do the exercises and tasks that are hard for me. But, what if I came at them with the same strength and enthusiasm I use on other tasks and exercises? What then? Well, they will probably be easier to at least get through.

I’ve brought Strength Finders  up before. They have a wonderful test and book that helps you figure out your top 5 strengths and how to use those to be the best version of yourself. Again, it’s so easy for us to focus on the things we don’t have. We wish we had more time, money, education, experience, etc. Strength Finders would say you focus on your strengths not your weaknesses and you will have more success. Meaning: Focus on what you already are capable of (have) and more will come. If you focus on the strength and abilities you don’t have or you think you don’t have you’ll be where you are or worse. You’ll feel further behind…stuck. Like your treading water. That’s exhausting!


I’m focusing on taking five minutes each morning to be thankful for what I have that day ahead of me. If I feel a little judgey devil in my head I am going to turn my grateful music on louder and listen to the sounds of focusing on what I have.

Want more in your life? Try this:

  1. Set aside time each day (preferably morning) to write or say what you are grateful for.
  2. When you feel a “I wish” “I need” “if only I had…” Stop. Call a friend or family member and just tell them Thank you for being awesome.
  3. You have all that you need to get to where you are wanting to be.  If you’re reading this you have at least something that connect to the internet. That’s more than lots of people have.
  4. Starve the Devil. He/She feeds off you focusing on what you don’t have. Starve him by thinking about all that you do have.

Is there more I want in this world? Heck yes! YAAS!!! I want so much awesome stuff. But, the truth is if I only look at that list, that picture it will soon feel like a mirage. Like something so far off in the distance that I am not getting any closer to it. Keep my eyes on what is in front of me right now and one day that mirage will be this awesome reality.

Go be Grateful my readers, Focus on your have’s!

xx~LL

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2016 Goals update #11 LL

Happiness! Yes, I wish I could just write that and you could see the updates…but since I can’t here you go:

Health: It’s time to get real adult. I must get a doctor. Calling this week

Personal: 3rd book of 12 done and 4th book is in the pipeline. I love reading. Can’t believe I ever stopped reading so much before this year.

JobLove: Get 2 more workshops on the books. Film 2 more for this month.

Happy Happy

xx~LL

7 Secrets for Patience

I’ve heard it said many times that we are Human Doings, not Human Beings…which explains our lack of patience: we continually seek to do, not to be. Living in the moment is one of the most difficult tasks we have as thinking, thriving humans. But it is one of the most important.

I just saw one of those memes that said: Worry means you’re living in the past, Anxiety means you’re living in the future. Calm means you’re living in the moment. Really, patience is letting go of that anxiety and worry and focusing on the things that need your attention now. 

Patience is one of those essences that I seem to continually strive for, but am seen as someone who has a lot of. Truth is, it’s all about perspective and distraction. I feel like 1/8 of my life is sitting and waiting. So I’ve become good at entertaining myself, which to the outside observer makes me seem good at being patient. Truth be told, like a magician, it’s all about slight of hand to yourself.


Here are my secrets:
1) Resign yourself to it. Give in. Patience has to happen. Waiting will occur. Breathe. Shrug your shoulders. Give over the power and control to whatever deity you choose and say it in your most believable Ice Cube: Bye, Felicia.

2) Now that you’ve told whatever you’re waiting for, bye for now, focus on something else. I’m sure there are a million options to you sitting and staring at the situation to change. Go work on a hobby, go learn a new skill, go call friends/return emails/catch up, clean your home, read/write/watch TV, bake, sleep, basically turn your back on your waiting game and put all your focus elsewhere.

For example–I’m currently waiting to hear about an audition. It’s a very important one. A dream role. But I know I cannot show up and do my best work until someone else says they are available. This made me obnoxiously anxious for a few weeks–inside and out. I’d told a few people about it, and they are continually checking in with me, the one trying to wait patiently in the waiting room of my brain–which has no smooth jazz Muzak to soothe me.
3) Come to terms with, or realize, or acknowledge that for whatever reason, whatever deity or power doesn’t want this in your life right now. You can also say: whatever, FAIT. (I spelled it right. “Fuck All, I’m Tired.” F-A-I-T.)

This is kinda step one as well, but really, to be good at patience you have to hear that voice and constantly tell it to hush. That you’re busy in the moment, but you’re ready when the time comes. It’s just not the time yet.

4) Remind yourself that you’ve been patient before, you can definitely do it again. As Kimmy Schmidt said down in the bunker when turning the crank: I can do anything for 10 seconds. And when that 10 seconds is up I’ll do another 10. (As in: she survived the last amount of time, she can survive the next allotment).

5) Other than reminding yourself that you’re capable, don’t compare yourself to anyone else or even previous versions of yourself. Stories and myths of waiters like Job, Penelope, and even Sisyphus come to my mind a lot when I need to be patient–by the way if you need to go look up those references, go for it. I can wait!

Good you’re back–these are stories. Myths. If they did happen, their timeline and life is totally different from yours. Your timeline is even different from yours in the past. The last time I went to the DMV it was delightful, even though I waited for over 90 min.  It was agony the time before that, and I probably was the same or less time, but I set myself up to wait.  Which brings me to secret 6:

6) Prepare to wait.  Set yourself up to be patient.  To the DMV, I brought a snack, water, a fully charged phone and a book. I prepared to wait. I settled in and was actually annoyed when my number was called. Ha! I ALWAYS take a book to the post office these days–I know its going to be a wait, so I get ready for it.  Auditions ALWAYS have waiting.  I’ve just learned to keep a snack, a book, and a charger on me at all times–because you never know when you’ll have to be patient.

7) Don’t give whatever it is, the satisfaction when it finally arrives. Just pretend it’s a normal thing on a normal day. This will help your mindset and balance in the scope of the world next time you have to be patient.


Like anything else, patience takes practice, ESPECIALLY in our instant society. I now live for the ellipsis on text message to go away–I want my friends to finish their texts to me!!! But, time is a good thing. Living in the moment is a good thing. Patience is a good thing. Practice. Breathe. Bring yourself into this moment. The next one will come soon enough, a whatever you’re waiting for.

One of my favorite quotes from Rumi starts: Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…

Good luck!

–Clare

Is There Merit in Laziness?

I was at work a few weeks ago, and I heard a co-worker quote Bill Gates: “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”

 

I’m having a hard time with this one. I’m not lazy. I’m an over-thinker, overachiever,  exuberant bundle of knowledge and positivity. No I’m not writing out my hedgehog for Danielle Laporte… Well. Though it’s kinda where this started…

Wait, let me start at the beginning. I’m an actor in New York City, which means in any given week, I work up to five different jobs, plus my free time is spent looking up auditions or going to plays.  I’ve never been a lazy person.  I started babysitting when I was 13, and had a job ever since. When given a task to do, I want to get it done. I do work first and have fun second–in fact, I usually can’t have fun or even relax if there are unfinished things to do. I’m not so crazy that I’ll get up and scrub the kitchen sink in the middle of the night, but if I’m in bed and I’ve forgotten to do something or get a grand idea, I get up and do it, or write myself a note for tomorrow.
Downtime is a thing I cherish. I love some of my TV shows and I’ll make time to sit and watch them. I love reading and I try to find time to read each day. I understand the desire to relax and do the “wants” in life and not the “needs.”  Believe me, I would much rather watch The Blacklist, rehearse plays, and sit around drinking coffee with my friends.
I’m always looking to entertain, be entertained, enlighten, or be enlightened.
 IMG_1559
But lazy…let’s discuss this. Lazy people, if we use Bill Gates’s definition, will get things done faster because they want down time. They will find the most direct solution.
Lazy people make time for themselves. They take down time. They sleep. They relax.
Lazy people lay awake at night and don’t worry about being the best because it requires too much work. However, they will do just enough to get by.
Lazy people figure out how to get other people to do their work for them because they don’t make the effort. Thereby they free up their time to do what they want.
Lazy people almost always own up to being lazy.  And they don’t care that others call them that.
So, to all my overachievers, here are the lessons you should take from The Lazies.
1) Find the direct way to do something. There might be a better way, but sometimes you just need to finish. If you have time, you can go back and tweak and polish.
2) Take downtime. You NEED to sleep. You need to decompress. The more time you allow yourself to relax, the heather and more alert you will be.
3) Stop with the stress. I read something recently that said Worry means you’re thinking about the future. depression means you’re
Thinking about the past. Stop doing both and live in the moment. Tomorrow will get here whether you worry about it or not.
4) Delegate or ask for help if you can’t do something. Someone else can take care of that task if you can’t. Sometimes just the act of asking for assistance allieviates some of the stress.
5) Own what you are. I’m a busy driven woman who will make time for TV–it’s what I choose. Deal with it.
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I’m still not convinced that lazy people have it all right, but there is
some merit behind the behaviors of the lazy. (Now stop reading and procrastinating and go do something productive.)
Clare
 (And if you’re wondering… the lazy baby picture–that’s me.)
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Get IN my way!

I cannot tell you how frustrated it makes me when and obstacle gets in my way. You know what I mean. You are your journey. Your way to work or just trying to tackle your errands. The car in front of you is going to slow. The trains are not running (I’ve heard this is an issue where trains are…). To do task A you have to do a new task. A boomerang task presents itself. It can feel like you’re on an uphill battle with rollerskates on.

Well, tie those laces tight, grab what ever tools you can and climb that mountain! Seriously, where there is adversity, there is a way for you to come out stronger and at the finish line designed just for you.

Scratching your head? Think I’m crazy? Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. Why oh why should you think that pounding on a wall will create a door? Simple, if the path is paved then it’s great for site seeing, understanding and learning but it’s not the path to your success. It’s the path to someone else’s.

I have felt that I often “landed” where I am. That I lept and a net caught me. The truth is I went to College where I did, because a roadblock to Hawaii presented itself. I literally had no other choices. It was go to the private University my friend suggested or stay local and go to junior college. Because I grew up not wanting to be the star of Credence Clearwater Revival’s music hit. I took out massive loans and got the heck out of Lodi.

While in College I needed a job. 9/11 happened the day I was supposed to go and apply for jobs. No one was hiring in the weeks that followed. Then it was holidays and again roadblocks. I couldn’t get a seasonal job as I went home for the holidays. So, I had to wait until January to get a job. I lived off my savings and as soon as school was back I was out applying for jobs. I dropped off 15 applications one of them was put in the hands of our own dear Clare. I got one call. One interview. Those 14 applications, those little roadblocks where directing me in the path that the only job offer I received was the only job I was to receive.

That job introduced me to my dear best friend Clare. I worked my way up in the company and became the manager. I hired an assistant manager who introduced me to pilates. That job took me through college and all the way to LA. Pilates in LA introduced me to Raine, LuluLemon where I was an ambassador. Being a Pilates instructor took me to Boulder, CO where because I was an ambassador I was introduced to Devon. Devon introduced me to my Husband. Who knew that first seemingly devastating roadblock would actually put me on the path to my absolute partner in crime.

Think about the last “No” you got. The last time something didn’t go your way. Then think about what happened because of it. Was it really as bad as you thought?

It sucked to not live in Hawaii. It felt bad that not one other store wanted me a very experienced 18 year old to work for them. But, in the near future awesome things happened. College in So Cal was amazing. My best friend Steph and I would never have met. My dear professor Karen and now great friend was an amazing gift. It was pretty easy to forget the roadblock once I took control of my options.

So, how can you see the positive in a roadblock? How can you take on the uphill battle with a smile on your face? Well, here’s my tips for loving the things in your way:

  1. Take the roadblock in! Sure, you’re going to want to push, scream, cry, yell and cuss like crazy. Do it. Then accept the roadblock. Give it a name. Listen to what it has to tell you.
  2. Take action with your roadblock. If you feel stuck or just do nothing you’ll feel worse. You’ll feel like the roadblock is on top of you. But, stand up next to your block, hold it’s hand and take those first few steps on the new journey towards your goal.
  3. Smile and Listen each step along the way. The “detour” can seem long and windy. But, smile and listen for what you’re supposed to learn, take in or take on.
  4. Look back and download. Don’t look back with your nose held so high you can’t see where you came from. You look back with satisfaction and strength. You made it. What worked? What great things did your roadblock give you? Write them down. Next time you meet a new obstacle will seem easier and you’ll welcome it faster.

So, what roadblocks have you been fighting. Trying to move. Complaining about. What roadblocks can you accept and move forward?

I broke my leg in August of 2014. I was basically sidelined. On crutches. I felt like my world had crashed. Because of my injury I had to get creative. It forced me to make changes in my life. Changes I hadn’t realized I was hoping to make but kept pushing off. After I ditched my crutches I kept those changes. I am so thankful I broke my leg!

Let the obstacles begin!

xx~LL

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